Oct 6, 2020 in Life Coaching

Anatomy of an injury up there

Why do we get the desire to bring things back to normal? is it normal to think this way? how can we enable our selves to be stronger post a trauma, what is it that can enable us to cope? is it covering up or something else.

12 members found this to be effective.

It's your turn now! Let's support each other by clicking "Helpful".

Ava Garcia

2 Jun

How do I fix a marriage after cheating??

My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help

Answer 117 answers • 6 Experts joined

Caligirl

2 Jun

Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him

Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?

Answer 95 answers • 6 Experts joined

Huttslady

2 Jun

Help

We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?

Answer 94 answers • 6 Experts joined

Caligirl

31 May

Idk what to do

My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them

Answer 67 answers • 6 Experts joined

Ashleigh

31 May

Lost and confused at a crossroads

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling

Answer 69 answers • 4 Experts joined

Diya Singh

2 Jun

How can I get my teen to confide in me

I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this

Answer 135 answers • 14 Experts joined

Mommy22

2 Jun

What do I do?

I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.

Answer 105 answers • 6 Experts joined

John Hayward

2 Jun

I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.

He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?

Answer 99 answers • 4 Experts joined

Martha Diaz

30 May

Shared custody

It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?

Answer 60 answers • 5 Experts joined

Christie

30 May

What should I do?

My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD

Answer 59 answers • 3 Experts joined

Locked in our personal cages, it is very common that we do not want to share or discuss what grieves us, what we miss, what has been lost, and how it happened. We usually adjust, re adjust and keep adjusting till all that we are left is a shallow piece of meat. The heart that once beats in the rhythm of love, seems to have lost its tune. The pied piper who blew his pipe, leading us in life gets lost in the mist. We are not willing to loose, not willing to accept reality, though we know it is not the same but we believe it will be fine. All we need is just, the time back. The feel back, the life back

Is “back something positive? Is it what we desire? The answer it self is complex? the answer lies in asking yourself am I the same? The damage, the scar the hopelessness has it hurt me or has it left me the same. If the answer is yes I have changed, the scar has healed but the new skin is different. It just not is the same as the older, softer and untroubled ORIGINAL skin. The feel is different so how can you keep emphasizing on puting everything in a place. It sure will not fit in the mold it once did.

Going through a trauma is a strange bitter blessing it lets you understand the capacity that you have and how you can grow with that capacity. What you need to build in your own absence and what is that you seek in the presence of others. Injuries that are simple and injuries that are complex are all dealt by an autonomic system. The fight and flight mechanism is triggered and this is what keeps us from collapsing.

But alot of times we also need to know how to tailor our internal systems by giving them space, time and consideration.

Think of the last trauma that you faced and think about the damage control machanisim that you developed ? is it sustainable if not then it is high time to think about things that matter to you the most.