Jun 16, 2021 in Life Coaching

Relationships: The Magic Ingredient is "Self-Love"

All relationships need to be built on firm footings, as they are only as strong as what lies beneath.

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One might say, that the building principles we incorporate for the foundation of a home, are much like the ones needed to support and secure the strength of our Relationships.  Our Journey in Earth’s classroom is one of Soul Growth, these lessons come through our Relationships and our Experiences.

Our curriculum for growth establishes how we maneuver through Life. Whether despite or perhaps because of our unresolved traumas.

Cleansing from our challenges become the Magic Ingredient for future Healthy Relationships.  Our Inner Journey, to unwind these entanglements that block our Love of Self.  A Journey that requires that we De-Construct the many layers, to Re-Construct the supportive structure that we deserve. The Life, our Soul, understands, and desires.  As we heal, we awaken our Authentic Self, Our True-Nature.

The deepest part of our Inner Being that IS sounding the Horn!

As we begin to release our attachments, our distractions, we return our focus to our divine purpose.  We bravely take the Deep Dive of Soul recovery to uncover, examine, and heal our Core Wounds. Many from our childhood, we have carried within us for decades.

The Importance Of Personal Boundaries

woman relaxing


Our Personal boundaries are an essential part of creating and hold to living a life with a healthy self-image. When you uphold strong personal boundaries, you communicate to the world that you value and have a healthy respect for yourself.  Boundaries are a healthy sign you honor yourself, and your personal integrity remains preserved.

When we go through life without personal boundaries, we send confusing messages and often attract toxic one-sided relationships.  Therefore, running the risk of confusing our needs and wants with others, leading to Codependency.   To enjoy a healthy relationship with yourself and others needs to have supportive clear boundaries.  Otherwise, you run the risk of heightened stress, feeling used by others. Over time, tend to take a serious toll on your mental health, leading to burnout.

Finally, a lack of personal boundaries can result in feelings of being worthless, weak, or not good enough. In other words, our Self-Esteem is severely impacted and we might struggle with issues such as chronic self-doubt or Self-Loathing Not being able to voice our truth and communicate our needs in a clear way can be deeply distressing.

10 Benefits Of Setting Clear Boundaries

You’ Will –

  • Be able to say No
  • Feel Empowered
  • Be more in control of your Life
  • Feel more Courage
  • Have a greater sense of Freedom
  • Experience a greater sense of Self-Worth
  • Be able to speak and be Heard
  • Attract healthy relationships
  • Feel more appreciated
  • Feel less stressed

A Home To Hold A Life Worth Loving

Happy couple

All relationships need to be built on firm footings, as they are only as strong as what lies beneath.

As Souls, we enter each Lifetime with a Life plan established with our Soul Group.  An agreement created with our consent, before emerging into the physical. It becomes a baseline manuscript that includes Actors, Roles and Lifetime of various Acts.  Many of our Lessons can be very difficult.  If we look deeper, we often find that these lessons become our Greatest Teachers.

Personal boundaries are our mental, emotional, and physical walls created to protect us from being used, manipulated, or violated by others.  Personal limits clearly define limits to our needs for personal growth, to avoid the pitfalls of relationships.  Relationships are the cornerstone of life lessons, they are our greatest teachers.  Boundaries are an act of Self-Love, and often the root of most suffering when absent.  The key to cultivating a healthy physical, emotional, and psychological state of Well-Being is creating & maintaining your boundaries.

Soul Growth is the goal of All lifetimes, the diploma, if you will, of our Souls progress, and yes, setbacks, known as Karma, Life’s imbalances.  Our Life Setbacks and Karma are often created by our Soul not addressing the Core Lessons of our Life plan for each Lifetime.

“Relationships are Assignments. Relationships are the Holy Spirit’s laboratories in which He brings together people who have the Maximal opportunity for Mutual growth.” Marianne Williamson

What Lies Beneath Your Foundation?

The health of a tree depends on a healthy root system, essential for proper nourishment and support.  So too is the importance of what lies below the foundation of our relationships, with others, as well as with ourselves.  The one we often value as the least important.  Yes, that One!  When we carry from our Past unresolved Trauma, Anger, Resentment, and Pain, ultimately they show signs of decay – compromising our foundation’s strength.  Often irreversibly.

Clearing past issues before beginning a Relationship, include a bold look, yes, an unflinching look at ourselves, our Masks, our Personas – the masks in need of acknowledgment to expose the issues that lie beneath. 

This valuable process to bring Light to the unresolved that disrupts our Inner Peace. Our return to Sanity, to Peace, to our Well-Being.

“Crisis is a doorway to greater understanding and harmony. "

"Without crisis to inform us of disharmony, we may tarry too long and lose the chance to transform…Crisis is a truth serum.  Learn from it and harmony will be restored.  Ignore it, and greater sorrow is to follow.”  Ann Mortifee

Listen For Inner Guidance

Our Inner Guidance is here to assist and redirect us on our Path.  When we unsuccessfully try to ignore our Inner Voice, it soon becomes louder to get our attention.  Our Path then becomes rocky until we face our cloaked demons!  The demons we thought were successfully locked away in the Toybox of Unwanted memories!  They would have none of that, so the pain continues.

Once we realize that paint and spackle can only mask the cracks of an Unresolved foundation cosmetically, the Deeper Core Wounds remain, disrupting our Peace until they are Acknowledged.

The Unforeseen

Unresolved Traumas continue to come forward, taking many different, often crippling avenues until addressed. This action may seem unnecessary when no apparent problems are visible at first glance. Realize, as with any Building Project, even our Personal One overlooked steps will inevitably be cause for concern.

Cracks begin to appear, perhaps slowly at first, that eventually threaten all Future successes, and can leave permanent scars.

Perhaps not physically seen, but Deeply felt, soon become physical.

Gambling On The Odds

We are not characters in a Storybook, why then, leave to chance, our Wishes, our Dreams, our Relationships.  Our Precious Life.  A life that deserves the necessary support to withstand the many challenges that Life brings.  When we leave the unresolved, they soon grow legs that continue to wander not only into Our Nightmares but Our Everyday existence.

We must be willing to reclaim our Life courageously.  That feeling that overwhelms us deeply, awakens our connection to our Divine Grace within.  The Spiritual Love within every Soul that supports us until we find the Love within ourselves!

A Life that we cherish enough not to allow anything or anyone to pull us back into the hole of despair.  A Life we are willing to work Diligently to Protect, to Insure it remains Stable.

Perseverance and foresight, strength and desire are how we become one with our foundation.  We gain Self-Awareness through this process that affords us a sense of security and pride.  Knowing we created a sustainable setting for all Future Growth.  We witnessed the crumbling of our false façade; we now appreciate and guard this Life.

Self-Love returns as the prize in the box, as we unconditionally Forgive, Accept, Respect, and Nurture ourselves.  The key to all successful relationships, whether in friendship, love interest, or business.  Time for a closer look and create a “Right Relation” with ourselves!   We embrace All of Who We Are!  Self-Love is the core element of all Inner Healing Work.  

As without Self-Love, true fulfillment in life seems unattainable.

Investing In Our Self-Worth

When we bravely Face the daunting depths where our shadows lie, we bring the cleansing Light to the demons beneath.  The old and tattered memories that oddly were familiar, that hold the secrets, the Shame ready to Let Go!

I Didn’t Break – I Didn’t Die

Our Shadows live in the Darkness of our unconscious mind. They become the director of our actions, even though the Shadows remain hidden. Safeguarded, rejected, and suppressed knowingly or not, until we are ready to face them. When left in the Darkness, they bring havoc into our lives. The undertow pulls on our emotions until they are healed, accepted, and loved.

The Pain and Shame, we believe, is hidden in the depths of our minds, soon come out of the closet. No longer content to be in the shadows, now at the forefront of our thoughts. The time arrives quickly, a drowning feeling that requires a choice. To either fall deeper into the depths of despair, or depression or face the monsters.

We are not alone in this endeavor.  We are one with the divine, the needed support we draw upon to release from the fog. Lifts us from the Shame we carried for so long, that was never ours to claim.  When we allow our emotions to take control, they grow and distort experiences, as the lack of Self-Worth continues to grow and hides us from the good in our lives.

The Light Is Always On

You see, we are never alone in our Self-imposed Darkness.  As we break free, we realize we always can see the Light of Guidance along Our Path.  Illuminating Our way Home.  Yes, the Light was still there, but our sight becomes blinded by the Darkness.

“Grace is always present, waiting to bestow its healing breathe upon whatever draws near.  It is we who must approach it in stillness.  It is we who must open to receive.  Grace is constant.”  Ann Mortifee

Through Grace, we welcome and heal our Inner Child, and appreciate the love we feel for ourselves we embrace Peace within.  Our Soul, Our Heart is filled with the Joy of Self-Love.

We gain a Life to cherish more joyous than we imagined, the Freedom of the Deep Dive to unlock the Pain, the Shame, the Self-Loathing.  When we find our Voice, our Courage, we know we will never allow another to take the Inner Spark of our Soul!

It is far too precious of a gift.

The Healing Power Of Forgiveness

“The Act of Forgiveness takes place in Our Mind.  It really has nothing to do with the other person.” Louise Hay

It has everything to do with You, and Your Courage. Send Love, Gratitude & Forgiveness for your Courage and Strength!

I believe we have the strength to go further, to Forgive The Soul of those who caused us harm, allowing the full Healing of our Soul.  Not to forgive the Actor nor the Act, ruled by their personalities, but to Untether our Soul from them.  If willing, forgiveness becomes a vital tool to cut the cord connection forever!  This Path completes our sustainable foundation to become a Soul of Peace!

A Foundation To Build Upon

Divine blueprints, make perfect sense to Our Divine Architects!

Our homes are indeed akin to Relationships, including the Relationship with ourselves.  All lives require and deserve, these common elements – To Feel Loved, Nurtured, and Safe.  As we continue our Self-Care, we protect all we have so Lovingly Re-Constructed.

A place to house Our Dreams, no longer storing our Box of Photos in the depths of Our Mind – labeled…”Secrets.”

A Life to overflow with the fond memories missed through the Darkness of the past.  The future memories to come are Free to bloom and grow, as the Light has cleansed the long-held Shadows.  The Light and Love of Divine Grace has shown us how Loved and Worthy we are.

Our powerful cleansing has allowed our Love of Self to grow, for when we love ourselves, we are available to Love others.

Our Paths are illuminated, cleansed of the Darkness. 

As we continue our Spiritual Journey with a Grateful Heart, to become a Magnet for Life’s Miracles!

For we are the miracles of Divine Grace!

Embrace the Dance, sending you love and light...

Original article: https://annverster.com/f/relationships-the-magic-ingredient-is-self-love

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