Apr 8, 2021 in Life Coaching
On Shyness and Sexual Selection
Why is it important to keep in mind that shyness is the product of sexual rather than natural selection? Read on to discover
It's your turn now! Let's support each other by clicking "Helpful".
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
Shyness is a normal human condition. It is a problem only if it becomes so intense to the degree that life is no longer joyful, and interpersonal relationships cannot be maintained. Even in an ideal state, the human psyche requires constant efforts to sustain an energetic balance between different aspects of the personality. Just being sexually active and physically safe will satisfy most animals but it will not make most of us happy with life. Now, we may ask: how come nature allowed the inefficient human condition to evolve in the first place? In his book The Mating Mind, Geoffrey Miller explains that in contrast to the common belief, the human mind has developed in the process of sexual rather than natural selection.
In the theory of evolution as discovered by Darwin, two possible processes are driving mutational change. The most famous one is natural selection. This is when even a slight increase in survival rates will start an evolutionary process leading to the dominance of the mutation within that specie. We can easily explain this process with the help of statistics. From today’s perspective, seeing how the thinking mind has enabled us to conquer the world, it is tempting to conclude that the mind has evolved in the process of natural selection. This is, however, in my opinion, and in the opinion of some biologists, a mistake.
Add to myWE:
The reason is that when the human brain began to grow, it was initially a burden rather than a survival asset. The bigger brain forced the human baby to be born prematurely, not being able even to hold its head straight. Some animals can jump on their legs and run seconds after birth. Humans, in contrast, are born extremely vulnerable because of their huge head. Moreover, the massive head had made births complex, resulting in very high death rate of mothers during birth, until only a couple of hundred years ago. It is only after the brain became significantly bigger in an evolutionary process that took tens of thousands of years, that humans started to use their larger brain to think and to gain survival advantage. But since the sudden growth of the human brain initially decreased survival rates, we can safely say that the motivating force that drove this process was not natural selection.
Darwin spoke of another process in the theory of evolution, and that is sexual selection. This is when a particular mutation leads to higher rates of success in mating between the sexes. The most famous example of an organ that evolved in sexual selection is probably the peacock’s tail. Not only does this tail have no survival benefits, but it is actually a burden on the male peacock when he needs to hide or escape from predators. For this reason, it could not have evolved in the process of natural selection. The peacock’s tail grew bigger because, for some reason, female peacocks preferred males with bigger tails. This is an example in nature to how an organ grew bigger and bigger, without any survival benefits, until it has become such a burden that it could not increase any further.
Why did female peacocks prefer males with bigger tales? Since peacocks cannot speak, we cannot know the answer with certainty. Perhaps it was a simple matter of attraction to beauty, or more likely, it was a way to visualize the quality of the male’s genes so that they could pick the best ones. The thing is, that male peacocks are condemned to carry this heavy burden from which they do not benefit. The burden inflicted by the peacock’s tail is metaphorically equivalent to the shyness inflicted by the human mind.
But why did women prefer men with a bigger brain? Although, in contrast to peacocks, women can speak, I am again uncertain that a definite answer is possible. Perhaps, the mind is another way to test the quality of genes, or maybe this was the way for women to compensate for the superior physical strength of men, with the evolution of a mental realm in which they are just as powerful as men, if not more powerful. Whatever the reason may be, the mind has brought with it an abstract dimension of experience, where mating can take place for example with poems and stories instead of fighting and demonstration of physical strength.
Now imagine that at some point in history, the male peacocks would have found some real use to their growing tail other than mating. For example, they would be able to run faster by waving the tail, or perhaps even use it as a wing to fly. Then it would have been tempting to believe that it was natural selection that had driven the growth of the tail in the first place. This is what has happened with the human mind. At some point, we have learned to gain survival benefits out of its thinking capacities through science and technology, and this has made us forget what a burden it is to begin with.