Dec 16, 2020 in 

How to BE a GOOD (Loving) parent?

Clearly, you influence your child’s adult. Your child’s inherited genetics might control a natural talent for crime, or.

George Stack

Life Coach

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Parenthood opens our minds and emotions to the internal dilemma of nature versus nurture. Mum may ask herself if her little treasure’s love of words is because she lay with him every night, while he read to her or because the grade 2 teacher had him lead the reading program in front of the class. Dad may quietly believe his little man is a successful mathematician because of his genes or because he helped him with his homework.

Nature versus nurture is an unresolvable row. Some believe nature (Genetics) is always in play. Others believe it’s the familial environment (Nurture) that ultimately determines the child’s uniqueness. Still, others trust both nature and nurture to interact in defining the child’s emotions, intelligence, personality, and physicality.

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George Stack

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Therefore, as my child’s nature (Genetics) is inherited, then as the parent, how do I go about to balance being the good parent (Nurturing), while being a loving parent (Nurturing)?

British author, Matthew Ridley’s “The Agile Gene How Nature Turns on Nurture” proposes, environmental-factors (Familial nurturing) influence the child’s genetic (Nature) behavior: Our behavior (Genes) react in accordance with the familial environment (Loving parent).

“Authoritarian, Strict Parenting (Eastern) Vs. Permissive (Western): Which is Better?” [1]

 

Eastern

Western

Advantage

Advantage

In a recent PISA international standardized test, children in China ranked on top in all three fields (reading, math, and science) and by a wide margin:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Programme_for_International_Student_Assessment;

Within the participating American students, Asians performed the best:

http://nces.ed.gov/pubs2011/2011004_1.pdf

Children who are raised in the culture of permissive parenting grow up with the ability to think creatively and be innovative.

Children being free to pursue what they want; they are able to think outside the box. It is this culture that produced Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Steve Jobs.

 

Disadvantage

Disadvantage

Many children who are raised by authoritarian parents show signs of psychological problems like depression and anxiety, and some even resort to suicide.

 

Children who are coddled and overprotected become weaklings and unable to handle challenges and hard work needed to survive in a tough world.

 

 

How to be a good (Loving) parent?

Clearly, you influence your child’s adult. Your child’s inherited genetics might control a natural talent for reading or mathematics or ballet or crime. But, you as the good-parent nurturing your child’s nature will help determine their adulthood success and joy.

The parent’s nature and nurturing ability is already determined by life’s nurturing of her / his nature, through attachment, parent’s, their parenting, childhood, puberty, adulthood, relationships, emotional maturity, and personal resilience.

Understandably, the new parent may or may not understand the inherent nature of nurturing to be a good (Loving) parent.

George Stack MACA ©

Counselor and Psychotherapist

Email: [email protected]

www.stackcounselling.com.au.

 

[1] https://www.raisesmartkid.com/all-ages/1-articles/47-authoritarian-strict-parenting-vs-permissive-which-is-better

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