Apr 4, 2023 in Life Coaching
Rose Colored Glasses
How do you look at the world? This post explores three different world views.
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How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
“Rose Colored Glasses”
This phrase means looking at the world in a way that is sometimes “overly” positive. It also can mean that a person who looks at the world in this way has a certain naivete because they refuse to see the negative things that happen. A practical optimist sees both the positive and the negative and tries to flip the negative into something more “okay” at the very least.
There is a distinction between the two world views and that is that the person who looks at the world through the lens of “rose colored” glasses rejects the negative and focuses only on the positive. The practical optimist accepts that adverse events are sometimes a part of life, and these negative experiences can be turned into life lessons and/or, growth opportunities or necessary stepping stones along the path of our lives.
The practical optimist asks the question, “How can I learn from this?” and the wearer of “rose colored” glasses asks “How can I manipulate events and people to fit my world view? “One is an example of “magical” thinking and the other is a more practical way of looking at life. One is grounded in reality and the other in fantasy…There is one last world view that I would like to discuss and that is someone who looks at the world through sunglasses.
Let me explain, Sunglasses tone down the brightness of the sun and the wearer sees a dimmer more shaded view of the world around us. They see the darkness and shadowed version in the world. It is almost as if they don’t wish to see and live in the brightness that the light has to offer. They see the dark lining on every beautiful white cloud. They don’t ever look at the world with passion, hope and awe. They want to see if there is anything behind the light and are certain that storm clouds will roll in at any moment. They are the anti-rose-colored glasses people. They find them to be annoying and silly…”don’t they see that the world is full of suffering and pain?” They feel as though, if they just work hard enough or run fast enough that they will be okay. To them…okay means that the world goes along as it should…if there are any positive blips on their radar that it is an anomaly in the system, it is a mistake and all of the happy things get lost quickly in a mist of “shoulds” and that they don’t hold up in the court of logic and scientific explanation. So, it’s better not to have hope or faith because wishes and happiness get crushed and they would be disappointed.
They have no care for love because love dies or they weren’t really sure why it was important in the first place. It doesn’t make them money or help them along their path towards security of any kind. They believe that love and hope are nice ideas and more for the fool than the rational human being. They believe that hope and love disappoint them, and they don’t have time for that. Positivity is delusional and if they work hard enough it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t figure into the equation.
The three world views have something in common they aren’t facts. They are the sum of our life experiences and conditioning, but it is also a conscious choice. We use such experiences to decide how the world is and our place within it. Here is a “fun fact” for you, the world and the universe don’t care how you look at it. It just is and, just will be no matter how “You” look at it. How you look at the world, universe and the happenings that occur is an example of how you use your free will and consciousness. If you want joy and peace pick the route of the practical optimist. If you want lighthearted fantasy, put on your rose-colored glasses. If you want a world of facts and figures and a world of shadow where there isn’t any surprises or joy it is the world of” gray”. There is nothing bright because it can “hurt” our eyes, no hope because all hopes have been dashed in the past and no love because they have had their heart broken before and it just isn’t worth the risk.
There is a middle ground, where we can be cautiously optimistic…one where we can tentatively take a step forward and if that’s okay maybe take another one and so on. Practical Optimism can be learned, just like pessimism can and the new world can be bright and beautiful. There are problems in this world like in any other but the approach to them is one of discovery and learning and there is a peace that comes from knowing that you did the best you could, right in the moment, with all of the knowledge, and life lessons learned up to that point.