Sep 12, 2020 in Life Coaching
How to deal with Triggers
Recognise and release your trigger infused behaviour.
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
Fist things first, it is so important that you vibrate on a level that at least you can recognise what triggers you, and you realise what triggers you is there for a reason. What triggers you always heals you because it brings something out on the surface which was already within you for healing.
Second thing is until you figure out the fix for your reoccurring trigger moments allow yourself to react to them but with a mindful approach, practice powerful presence and notice how you are reacting within that moment. Identify a pattern of your reaction to your triggers may it be fear, anger, frustration or a guilt. Once you notice & identify the pattern move one step forward, whenever you get triggered then after with a same trigger, pause and respond rather than reacting in accordance to your normal coping mechanism & reflex action in that circumstances.
Every time when you get a spiked reaction, remind yourself that you know better, what you are going through is just one of your triggers and you do not need to react but what you need to do instead is pause and respond, by practicing this constantly responding will become your natural way of tackling the triggers rather than reacting and taking quick unintended actions.
Rest and rejuvenate:
When you are practicing to respond and not to react be ready to take it slow and deal with one trigger at a time, stay kind and gentle towards your inner child while taking these baby steps, be patient, allow yourself time and space to cultivate this behaviour as a habit, do not judge or be over critical about yourself, don’t engage in self sabotaging negative self talk, affirm to yourself that you are doing great and you have got this, practice will make you perfecting the act. If you struggle to practice pause & respond method on certain occasions affirm that it’s okay to make mistakes while learning and take time out for rejuvenating yourself, do something which makes you feel better do what needs to be done to calm yourself down.
When you are calm start reflecting on what happened, what intensified your reaction, think about other factors surrounding the situation, evaluate collaborative effects of multiple triggers affecting your mental state and reaction on the given point of time and how to identify and separate them in future to reduce the probability of the situation and powerful impact of the action.
Reconcile with your inner child, that will help you identify the root cause of you triggers, fulfil the need of your inner child and keep him/her happy, you can make your inner child feeling safe and protected by reparenting him/her. Practice self love affirmations to make your inner child feel important and loved.
Remove negatively, Reduce self criticism, Reform your beliefs, Reinstall and reinforce your self worth, Reject or at least restrict low vibrational energies from entering your environment, Release the past, Replace 'fear with courage; hate with love; and despair with joy', Review your thought patterns, Remember to snap out from your past or future and return to the current moment to rejoice in the present, Reunite with your inner child and reward him/her for the work well done,
Rekindle the joy within.
Note: All my article are now available as a podcast “I-effect”.