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Jun 1, 2020 in 

Letting Go of Grudges: Forgiveness, Letting Go & Moving On

How to forgive, not necessarily forget and move on so that you can lead a more productive and healthier life.

Hannah Wingle

Life Coach

30 $ / session

  • 3 Publications
  • 27 found this helpful

We have all been there. Someone "does you dirty", and you just can't get over it. It keeps you up at night. The outrage. The audacity! It's all about the principal. This person was supposed to be trustworthy and you though you had finally found someone you could rely on. They were a friend, a lover or maybe even family. This feeling that we cannot shake is so overwhelming we start to feel ourselves fill with rage at the thought of what this person has done, and this is a natural reaction. At what point though does it start to become incredibly unhealthy and extremely detrimental to our psyche? Almost immediately this happens. 

Anger is a completely normal reaction, and we've all been thourouly "pissed off" at one time or another. In most instances this passes quickly and without the need of emergency intervention. For some people it's not that easy and it's actually seemingly impossible for them to process anger in a healthy way. First you'll see that they tend to explode with rage, hate and outrage. Slowly though, that initial stage of hate will burrow down deep and embed itself in your psyche. 

Carrying around all of this negativity, even if it's seemingly burried away and not hurting anyone, it is incredibly unhealthy. This negativity, resentment and anger festers and ultimately impacts every judgment we make about everyone else's character for the rest of our lives. It hinders us from letting people in, GOOD people, because we have been trained by this emotional baggage to never trust anyone ever again.

The idea and ultimate goal here is to forgive what has happened to you in the past. don't forget about it as we do need to learn from the experiences of our past both good and bad. There is always a reason to forgive, even if it's simply because you need to move on and heal yourself. We deserve that. As human beings we deserve to move on and to not only heal, but to grow and become stronger, wiser and hopefully enlightened. We deserve the chance to make new aqaintences, develop new relationships and to Just. Let. Go. Living in and holding a grudge will only make your mind, body and soul ill.

So the next time you find yourself the victim of someone else's wrong doing, put some conscious effort into finding a reason to forgive the actions of this person. Only to the extent that you are able to carry on with your life in a positive way, not just accept it and let it happen again. This is a whole other issue, being a doormat for everyone to walk all over. 

Fee yourself from the wrong doings and bad times of your past. Allow yourself the luxury of moving on and leading a better adjusted life. 

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