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Jun 29, 2021 in 

5 Tips to Help Enjoy Your Intimate Experience

Here are a few tips...

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Denell Henefield

Life Coach

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Did you know that a major part of our sex lives is defined by the things we have learned about sex, by what we think and how we think about sex, and by what we know and believe about relationships? Even though there are certain medical issues that can impact our sex lives, many who face sexual challenges should look to their minds rather than their bodies. Here are five tips to help ensure you get the most out of your sexual experience.

Stop thinking an act might be ‘TOO’ nasty.

Let us be real for a moment, most of us were bought up thinking sex was something dirty. Some people even think a position other than missionary is getting spicy. Even when you do get the courage to try something that is not on the usual menu, you may feel dirty while engaging in it. This tip is to STOP. Stop thinking about how others would look at you for doing a certain position or type of sex kink. As long as your partner is willing, you are entitled to try any and everything you want. Just make sure it is legal. 

Stop thinking having an orgasm is the only way a sexual experience can be great.

Most people equate a climax to great sex and that could not be further from the truth. Not only are you setting a high expectation for the encounter, mentally you are already putting pressure on yourself to reach it. Having your mind focusing on reaching a climax is taking you away mentally from the actual experience with your partner. Your brain is not fully focusing on the pleasure you are receiving, it is focusing more on whether you will orgasm. It is thought that up to 80% of women cannot achieve orgasm through regular sex. If you are one of these women, try adding a clitoral stimulation toy into your experience. This tip is basically to sit back, relax and fully enjoy the ride.

Stop comparing this experience with ANY previous experience.

The chemistry you have with one individual will NEVER be duplicated with another. Do not subconsciously compare this lover to a previous one. The way they touch you, caress you, receive you will be an experience all its own. Don’t’ rob yourself of the experience by letting thoughts of a previous encounter cloud your enjoyment.  Give this lover his/her own stage to showcase their talent. 

Communicate with your partner.

You don’t like the way a certain thing feels to you? Then speak up and let your partner know. It’s not fair to them and to you, for you to just suffer through something or fake pleasure out of an act. Want to try something new? Bring it up to your partner and discuss the possibility of incorporating it into your encounters. Honestly, if you are NOT comfortable in voicing your thoughts to your partner…you really need to drop this partner. Transparent communication in and outside of the bedroom is paramount in any successful encounter.


Often, we let other problems and issues that we have going on in other parts of our life affect our intimate moments. Try to stop bringing that mentally into the experience. Your brain is your biggest and most important sex organ.  Don’t cloud it with agenda items for tomorrow, the disagreement you had with a coworker, or any other thought. Be there and fully invested in receiving the pleasure your partner is so graciously offering. 

It may be difficult to incorporate these tips into your sexual experience, but at least make the attempt to try. Practice makes perfect. It will be better in the long run for you, your partner, and your relationship. Sometimes a person needs a bit of guidance in finding the steps to take to be able to clear their minds and be more open sexually and there’s no shame in that. If you feel that you may need some guidance, please feel free to visit my website,, and schedule a complimentary discovery call or send me an email at [email protected].

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