Feb 8, 2021 in Life Coaching

Let's Talk About Kissing

Let's get into the art of kissing.

If you were to look up Webster’s definition of kissing, you would find that it is defined as, to touch with the lips especially as a mark of affection or greeting. Kissing is in fact, so much more. It can be an erotic experience, a fun way to burn calories, and even a tantric way of exchanging energy. 

The scientific term for kissing is Osculation and humans are not the only ones to do it. Bonobos also have been documented to kiss as a way to console and improve relationships. Kissing requires the coordination of 20 muscles working together including the muscle used to pucker, called the orbicularis oris. Kissing can burn anywhere from two to sixteen calories a minute through muscle movement. The lips have over 1 million nerve endings and have been scientifically proven to be more sensitive than our fingers. While we are engaging in a kiss, our brain makes our lips feel extra sensitive and that’s not all our brain is up to.

During a kiss, the brain releases a chemical cocktail made up of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin…the things that naturally make us feel good. Oxytocin calms the mind, serotonin acts as a natural anti-depressant and kissing also reduces cortisol, the stress hormone. They also light up the pleasure centers of our brains. These feel-good chemicals and hormones released during kissing can help lower stress and cholesterol levels.

Ever wonder why we (or at least most people) close our eyes when we kiss? A 2016 study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, found that our brains cannot process visual and touch-related stimuli simultaneously. So basically, when you keep your eyes open while kissing, you are less likely to fully experience all the other sensations that kissing can bring on. So, if your eyes are open, you are too distracted by what you are seeing to fully feel all the other good stuff that is occurring. 

There is a myriad of kissing personalities. Here are just a few:

· Dominant (aggressive)

· Submissive (gentle)

· Wet

· Teaser

· Biter

· And the dreaded tongue shover

Even though there are many different kissing styles, they all should follow the golden rule and make sure the kiss you are about to deliver wants to be received. Look for signs that your partner or potential partner wants to be kissed, such as:

· Moving towards you

· Making physical contact

· Looking at your lips

If you are ever in doubt if someone wants to be kissed…ASK. Sometimes a “Can I kiss you? or “I’d like to kiss you.” can be sexy as hell.

Kissing is not just for the lips either, kissing your partner’s neck, nipples, stomach, and my personal favorite the inner thigh and bring a sense of sensual eroticism to your encounter. Take time to explore other sensual places to kiss with your partner. 

Remember kissing is so much more than just touching with your lips. It is hormone and endorphin-releasing, emotional, playful, an introduction to physical intimacy and builds anticipation and excitement. Do not take the art of kissing for granted.

Below is one of my favorite poems about kissing. It shows in such simple words, just how much power can be in a kiss. 

The hesitation. The longing.

The uncertainty. The trust.

The nervousness. The eagerness. 

The souls fusing. The hearts melting.

The simplest touch.

The start of something big.

The first kiss.

-Shefali D

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