Dec 16, 2020 in Life Coaching
How to Choose and Enforce Boundaries in Relationships
Boundaries are an integral element of a healthy relationship. Check out my latest article for tips on setting boundaries.
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
A boundary is something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent. They can be physical or moral. All healthy relationships have boundaries. Boundaries are a way of assuring that your needs are met in a relationship. They are also a way of assuring that your values and expectations are not violated. Some boundaries are discussed, others are assumed, and some are only discovered when they have been crossed. Boundaries can preserve your privacy and independence. Everyone has boundaries, but few people have the same boundaries, and that is why it is so important to set the boundaries in your relationship.
Consider your boundaries in these areas:
Financial. Who is going to pay for what? How much will you spend on birthdays and Christmas? How much is too much? Should everything be split 50:50? Does the man pay for everything? Does the person with the larger salary carry the brunt of the load? There are no right or wrong answers if both parties agree. One tip do NOT try to do copy or emulate what works for another couple. An arrangement that works for Susie and Bob’s relationship may end up in disaster for yours.
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Work. Does work always take precedence? Should a career-minded partner be willing to skip working evenings to spend time with the other person? For some people, work is an unnecessary evil that funds the rest of their life. For others, it is their life. Make sure you are aware and in agreement with where work falls on the list of your partner’s priorities.
Sexual. Some people like to keep it conservative, while others prefer swing from the chandelier. Everyone has a sexual limit, and it is rare that two people have the same limits. A lot of drama can be avoided by understanding what your partner will and will not do. I can not stress this enough, make sure you are equally yoked sexually with your partner. If your partner needs intercourse at least three times a week and you know that is a schedule you cannot and do not desire to keep up with, they are NOT your soul mate.
Openness regarding the past. Some people insist on dissecting their partner’s past. Others believe that the past is irrelevant and should stay in the past. A person’s past often has an impact on the person they are today. How much do you require to know about your partner’s past? What are you willing to reveal? What do you want to know?
Family. It is important to set boundaries for how involved each other’s families can be in your relationship. I do not recommend getting close friends and family involved in your personal relationships too deeply. Discuss with your partner what each of you think is appropriate to share to family. How involved do you want your boyfriend or girlfriend with your family? Do you want them to come to the family barbecue? Or do you want them to keep their distance? Is it okay for your boyfriend to call your mother or sister for advice about your relationship? If you have children from a previous relationship, how do you want to include the children in your new relationship?
Time. Let us be honest everyone knows how needy they are. Let your partner know early on your needs. How much time will you spend together? Are Friday nights expected? Is it unacceptable not to communicate for a week? How much time together is too much? Maybe you only want to see your partner once a week.
Dating others. In the early stages of your relationship, do you like to continue playing the field, or just stick to one person? Some people prefer open relationships even after they have been together for years. Whatever the case maybe, transparency in relationships is of the utmost importance. Be an adult and clearly state what your intentions are and what you expect of them.
Discuss your boundaries with your dating partner. It is unfair to expect someone to follow a boundary that you are keeping a secret. Relationships require communication. Why leave anything to chance? Let the other person know what you expect. Be prepared to enforce your boundaries. When you are tolerant of your boundaries being crossed, you can safely assume it will happen again. When someone regularly fails to respect your boundaries, it is a sign that you are with the wrong person. It is just as important to understand the other person’s boundaries and respect them. If you are both on the same page, you have a better chance of enjoying a long healthy and happy relationship.
Some people struggle with being able to set boundaries. Often a relationship life coach can help. If you’re having trouble setting boundaries, let me guide you, visit www.intimacy-coach.comtoday and schedule your complimentary discovery call.