Feb 11, 2020 in Therapy
Single Mom Confessions: Ade
Single Mom Confessions
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Most parents are out here winging it. (I'm one of them.) It's easier when you have a partner that is supportive. Many single parents don't have the support that they need and deserve. They are in situations that have a resistant co-parent, a toxic co-parent, and sometimes a supportive co-parent. Regardless of the co-parenting situation, I feel that the stories of single parents should be heard and maybe something will be revealed allows other parents to make healthy changes in their parenting and in themselves as individuals. The Confessions of a Single Parent Series is for all parents to learn, grow, and know that they are not alone. These are their stories. (It just got a little Law and Order in here...).
Can you describe your co-parenting experience and the plan?
Since my son's father and I separated it has been challenging. The challenges exist not only with having my son by myself the majority of the time but also maintaining a positive relationship with his father. Initially, we started out in therapy so we could better co-parent and it helped to address some of our issues but he decided not to continue with and we again had to go through re-establishing an amicable relationship. Now we are friendly and able to communicate. My son sees his father every weekend. I hope to develop a relationship where we are able to work together more.
How has becoming a parent altered your view of the world and has it deferred your dreams?
Being a parent has inspired me to reach my full potential so I can show my son what is possible. It seems I have been able to accomplish more with more obstacles in the way. My son motivates and inspires me.
How do approach parenting as a single parent?
Be clear about the type of parent you want to be. Expect to have to stand alone in some of your beliefs and practices. Keep an open mind. Do you best. Enlist help. Lot's of self care ( the most important).Don't abandon your own dreams it will you to be an better example to your kids.
How have you dealt with co-parenting difficulties?
I just try to do my best. That's it. There is nothing else I can do. I try not to compare myself to other people even if I'm using them as a resource.
What advice would you give another parent having difficulty adjusting to being a co-parenting?
Accept the other parent for who they are. Don't impose expectations ( especially as a primary parent) Ask for what you need but without imposing expectations and always have a back-up plan. The less pressure you put on the other parent the more likely they will be to work with you even without you asking for help.
How would a support group help you get through co-parenting difficulties?
If there was a support group that could help me connect with other single moms of like mind, additional childcare ( because I need to work more) and finding male mentors for my son that would help me a great deal. As far as co-parenting, I need support from others that empower me to be the best parent and be true to myself and my son because I'm doing this on my own for the most part.
I would like to thank Ade for her candor and courage to share her story. She is an up and coming jewelry reseller and entrepreneur.
If you or someone you know would like to share their story please contact me.
Latisha Ellis is a therapist at Empowered Transitions Counseling & Consulting. She is very passionate about self-empowerment for parents, adults and teens and helping people through group work that focuses on working through the challenges of life, being present, and communicating honestly in all types of relationships.