Dec 20, 2020 in Life Coaching

Learn how Build Yourself up!

Learning how to build yourself up, and there will be no room for tearing yourself down.. Even in your mind.

It takes inner strength  to not always  go with  the crowd,  especially  when it comes to self- degradation,  complaining or putting  oneself  down. For some  people degrading  themselves  has even become a habit. "They  say such things  as, "I'm  so stupid!" "Leave it to me to not get the right  answer on the test."   I  have even  seen  people  take there hand  and hit themselves  with  an open  palm.. and  pound on thier forhead, Stupid..Stupid..Stupid! as they repeatedly hit themselves. I stepped  in and told the person  not to literally  beat themselves  up and I worked with  them on a healthier  way of being  disappointed in themselves  through positive self talk realized  that  this type  of behavior  was extreme, however,  any type  of  self  degradation is extreme  it is a form  of self hate, whether  learned  as a child and  internalized as  a toxic way  of harming themselves  based on not realizing  that  their  behavior  is abusive  to oneself  whether  verbal  or physical  even subliminallly, without ,consciencely realizing  that it is unhealthy  or helping  the person,  they are actually  tearing  themselves  down  in an unhealthy. There self talk is verbally  abusive. What we tell ourselves we tend  to feel, I had  a client  once that would  complain  of headaches right  before  doing  something unfamiliar,  she would  be fine up until  an event  or something  she had to do. Finally,  I noticed  a pattern  and said  to her" What do you  think  of when  you talk like  that?.. like what..She really  didn't know 

How do you talk inwardly), to yourself and  sometimes  spills  outwardly? 

What do you tell yourself?  Is what  you say to yourself  positive or negative? Have you ever thought  of what you say to yourself?I remember  one time, I tuned into my self  talk  and  when  I  felt overwhelmed  or things were not going  right  for me, my go to phrase would  be.."Could it get any worse"  I heard myself  say it  and  I noticed  each time I would  say it things  in my life  did worse yeah, I completely  stopped saying  that phrase..Now, that I  stopped saying  it, I came  up  with  a plan to turn my thinking  around  to being more positive  even in the midst  of chaotic  days.

"Here are some tips:

This to shall pass"

"I'm  going  to make  it through  this.."

"I am determined  to make it!"

"I can and will  do better "

"I'm  still here"

If you are not  feeling  alright, when someone  ask you instead  of saying  no..which sounds final..instead .. try saying,  "No, But, I  will Be.  That leaves room  for hope  instead  of hopelessness. 

Try not to  put yourself down, especially  around  people,  it's  an indicator  of lack of self- esteem, and everyone  is not your  friend,  and  most people  get a kick  out of someone  putting  themselves  down.. Once, you start  gaining  confidence, some  are not going  to like it, s expect  a challenge and  stay on course. 

You want to get  to  a point  where  your positive  talk becomes  automatic.

Look in the mirror  and daily  say something  positive  about  yourself, even  if you just woke up..because  your  confidence  is built  from  within  and radiates outwardly.  I'ts  Important  that  you embrace  yourself,  this is your  Super Power. I cannot  emphasize  this enough,  you are own your own team, which  means.. watch your  thoughts. whichever,  way your feeling  you are still  in control  of how you will  respond positively or negatively,  because,  you for got something. watch out for  the haters..they will  notice  a difference  in you  too!  Smile  and keep  it moving. Your still  under construction. 

Affirmations:

"I  Love You! Saying  it to yourself,"  Yes, it may  seem awkward initially, however  it's  something  you need to  here from  you, instead of someone  else all the time,  some of the healthier  relationships  are when  both people  love themselves  before  getting  into a toxic  relationship, with  someone  that doesn't even  like themselves, its  better  to be prepared  than  be with  someone  that drains you like a battery. 

You are Beautiful  In Your Own way. 

The purpose  is not  to feel  guilty  about  being  good to yourself,  it is to acknowledge  both the good  and bad times and embrace  yourself  in the middle. 

You  can create  your own affirmations  and  place  them where you  can see them  as a reminder  date them to also, see how  far you have come  and notice a difference  in your new way of thinking  about  yourself. Be patient  and try not  to  get  discouraged...You are on the right  path!

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